the past

every second u're using is going to be your history. time passses the same for all of us. it's just what happens around us that makes us feel as if time passes faster or slower.

for me, any time i'm NOT daydreaming, with people, listening to music i like or watching a show is time passing slowly.

then, there are times when, even though time passes slowly, a sudden change in events or a shock can make EVERYTHING suddenly feel so distant.

since the last time i blogged.quite alot happened actually. always wanted to blog it but hadn't the time or i had someone close by.

feels like another decade ago now...

last week, i lost my mechanicle pencil. quite upset about it. it was with me since secondary school. blue, smooth, withstand dropping, and just the right feel.

then, on tuesday, suzanne called me out for lunch. pleasent surprise. it was ages since i saw her. she's as pretty and easy to get along as ever.

after class, pig gave me a lesson. a driving lesson. in eva's SERENA. huh, figured i'de never be one of those who'll need lessons after getting my license. however, due to constant reminder from my mum that my license was 'bought', i kinda lost my guts to drive. but it's kind of cool to think that the first car i drive after getting my license, is a huge MPV. ha!!

on thursday. i got ffk'ed. i wont say i was happy about it because i wasn't. kinda left me in a emotional state. i sent a message to amy, askig if she wants to go to the night market. i dont know what was i expecting, a 'no'? it was like a desperate act to show that nothing was turnig out for me that day, i guess. what a sadist.

to my utter surprise, she said 'ok de'... she made my day. just like that. but we didn't go to the night market, she wasn't keen, went to her house for dinner instead. her family was, as usual, more friendly than any average families.

we talked.

actually, she talked. i listen.

i kind of forgot i used to talk alot. i used to be the one searching out others to listen to me. now, i serch out others to talk to me.

she said i have no standing of my own. cause i dont seem to have any opinion, whatsoever... maybe it's true... now?

on friday. went taylors. bought a cake for vivien in pyramid, her b'day being the next day. alot of great memories that day. memories that were so gret, they seem like they were plucked from a dream... and they might just as well stay that way...


woke up cring on saturday. high fever. went to lok yee's house later that day, and her mum tried to drunk me with cocktails one after another.

baking on sunday. a success. but, i'm not in the mood to celebrate. mainly cause....


monday. shock. denial. emo. internal struggle.

sorry peeps. i still cant get myself to type all this out. the shock, the struggle, isn't gonna leave as soon as i want it.
:(

oh, i failed f6