i have lots to say, as usual, but i dont know where to start :s

for 1 thing, i found out more about myself.
i like to know what i'm feeling,
understand why i'm feeling that,
and rationalise why am i doing what i'm doing.

so, i recently found out, to my surprise, i'm stuck in my comfort zone for far longer than what i would usually allow myself.
2-3 months maybe?
i've been so used to my group of friends,
i dont bother making new ones anymore!
which, i find, bothers me.
what happened to the enthusiastic me?
the person who gets herself a seat next to the new person in bus, shakes their hand, smile, and gives them a BIG 'hi~!!'???

recently, the bus is flooded with people.
my curiosity caught up with me.
awww... such interesting looking people!!
but i didn't feel like talking to them.
i just felt like getting my usual seat on the bus and doze off till i reach college.

'u're in u're comfort zone and u're too lazy to leave'
quote, my bro.

struck me hard in the face.
why? i wonder?
maybe i'm too tired.
i want my rest on the bus.

or maybe, like my bro say, i'm stuck.
comfortably stuck?

anyway, qiqi told me she found a girl in her class who is currently taking a degree in sunway who might solve our transport problem.
so, from then onwards,
i waont have to stay till 5.30pm
i wont have to wake up at 6am.
i wont have to reach home at 7pm.

but,
it felt weired.
a bit wrong actually.
i didn't like depending on people in the first place, that's obvious.
but,
i realise.
i just might be more attached to this jerking, late, problematic vehicle with all it's interesting people and UFO lights than i thought.
i didn't really feel like taking any other transport.

despite all it's disadvatages,
this bus actually helped me quite abit too.
i was able to go on9 during all my 'free time' while waiting to get on the bus at 5.30 ( since i dont get to go on9 at home)
i am able to relax as when i want after class.
i can go any where i want with my friends without my parents knowing as long as i appear to be taking the bus ;x
AND
if i have a car.
i'm not even sure if i can cope with my studies.
i think i'll go party, yumcha, movie, makan all day long.

i'm crazy and i know.

therefore, avoid temptation.
avoid car :)

oh, and i love my sleep in the bus ;)

oh oh, there was parent's lecturer's day!!
i went with my dad, the person who never agreed to my course :/
i told him i failed all my papers.
just so he's prepared.
he told me
'WHAT?! all FAIL??? no need to study edi la u!!'
=.=
why is it a surprise???
isn't that normal?? :(

anyway, met the lecturers.
all of them were pretty shock to see my marks.
since they have no idea what are the student's names, now do they mark our papers personally, they thought i was a studius, smart, good girl.

man, how wrong they were.

anyway...
i dont know what was it with me.
maybe i'm a little too confident for my own good but,
i convinced all my lecturers not to worry about me,
i know what i'm doing,
i know what to do,
and i'll pass all their papers....

GOSH!!!

wtheck??
why did i say that? *sigh*
i guess,
i just cant stand having people being worried about me :(

anyway, they've got enough to handle, right?
who needs another stupid, problematic student??

but yeah, i managed to fully convince my lecturer's AND my DAD that i'm okay.
my dad was actually pretty happy when we left ==
and when i told my lecturer i'm failing her paper this exam but CONVINCE her that it's ONLY because there was too little time and i'll be great, she smiled and said okay
....
she's okay with me failing her paper??!!
i salute to my own talent in convincing people xP
or maybe they are just too trusting :/

i even told my dad i'm glad i'm a regular fail-er
makes me a stronger person =.=
builds character.
and he bought it =.=

that's all peeps.
gotta go study.
exam tmr.
have to live up my 'expectations'
haih...

GAMBATEH~~!!!!
ciao~~ :)

ps, despite what happened exactly 2 weeks and 1 day ago, i'm doing well. still get emo at times, feel myself getting more vulnerable in this sense but i think i'm speedily recovering :D one of my friends told me even after 2 years, she still misses her ex once in a while. so i guess i'm normal and on the right track. i actually find it better for me when i talk to him instead of avoiding him :s wonder why's that?