feel like crying

...juz came back from tution....i feel terrible, like i did something real bad....but i didn't...

i dont know wats happening, i guess it was because i heard jq said that if i dont want the place in science stream...give it to her.....for the past three weeks, i knew, without anyone telling me, i suck in add math....but does that stop me from going into science strem? i love science....i'm mad, sad, dissapointed and upset and just feeling real down...



i'm dissapointed because my best fren, jq, didn't understand me enough to actually suggested that if i get the place in science stream n she didn't get it, give it to her...how could she say that?! i mean, she thought that i'de actually give up my chance to study in science stream juz because i'll suffer 4 my math??? if i was me 1 year ago, i would have, but not any more...sad to say, i can predict what will happen next to my frienship with her in the future....she changed, i changed...we are both in different classes, mixing different types of ppl who hate each others....there's no longer a topic that could make us sit down together and chat 4 hours...



i'm mad because of also what jq said, how could she b so unconfident about herself?? i mean since form 1 , my results has onli twice been a bit... than her's but still i NEVER NEVER EVER thought my results were beter than hers...she was alwas so hard working, studying when i was still asleep, cracking her head about math that i just trew one side....i had high hopes for her... though uncomfortable to most ppl, i always hoped she could get good results...she was most of the time the cherry 1, laughing in the face of trouble, gigling over and somehow past through it, i've often asked for her advice on stuff, she's more matured, and now, suddenly i realised that she ment what she said, she thought i could get into science stream, and thought she couldn't make it???? i might have, like what one of my friends told me, been proud of my ability to do ok in class without studying, i know that too, i also know that if i could work harder, i could do better, which is why she's one of my role models. to become more hard working.....



i'm upset because my math tution teacher has high hopes on me, and i dont like dissapointing ppl. bt i really cant understand whats happening....why does x have to bring over to the other side? why does the y suddenly become 2x?? all this questions swim in my head throughout the class, and though i tried asking, no teachers, till now understands what i ask in math....



so what do u get when mad+dissaponted+upset? sad, down....tears