a happy day, turned out to b nothing more than pure sadness...

this is actually really unexpected...i mean, my life had a lot more other really intresting things that happened these few days...but i never thought of posting it, u can say i forgot totally that i ever had a blog...maybe i'll post it all later...but something happened today, something that made posting it on blog came to me...unexpectedly, and immediately...looks like i didn't forget me having a blog totally...
well, today, is my friend's birthday, A. We all planed to go to ebox, in carefour to celebrate as midvalley was...(i cant remember the reason =p). So, C, H, and K were going, including me.( should i say that there were suppose to be more people going, but they didn't turn up) we wanted to surprise A , so we all pretended we forgot her birthday, and that H couldn't turn up. A was really upset, she was so dissapointed that we forgot her birthday and H wasn't coming... when i saw her upset look, i really really wanted tell her the whole truth, i couldn't bear to see her like that, but then, i cant spoil our perfect plan either, so when the time came, i did as planed n ask A to accompany me to the toilet. When we came back, H was there with the cake, we sang 'happy birthday' to the birthday girl. She was laughing and close to tears and i dont know what other emotions were there...well, THAT was the time the gang started to heat up.
we played till around 3pm, then we decided to play true or dare.
C got the first round of true, we asked tons of questions, then A got the second, also true. H got the third, also true. And then...what do u know, the stupid thing pointed at me.
They shoot me with questions like ' do u like J? ' 'was there anyone you ever hated?' ' were u always pretending?'
As for the first question, i was like...i thought i said that before? i do like J, as in admire, nothing more, why cant they understand the difference between love and like?
The third question came first, well, NO!!!!!! i mean, i was always like the way i am, (i might be noob or maybe...MAYBE a bit slow, but is there anything wrong with that?) just because not everyone is like that doesn't mean i MUST be pretending. The only time i DO pretend, is when i dont know how else to react, or that i'm in shock. I mean, why else would i do that?
Then came the second question. Well, yes...but hate is a strong word, i wouldn't say i hate, i'de probably say i dislike. Two years ago, there was this gang of people at the back who hated me, for no reason, which i now, just few hours ago, found out...was not hate, they were litterary toying me. So...guess how i felt?

That, wasn't what made me feel bad...that was the minor....

They later start whispering here n there about the reason, y i was choose to b toyed out of all the ppl in my class, i mean, why me? H knew the reasons perfectly well, she whispered to the others, and they all agreen, C even added, '' if i was said something like that by someone, i'll feel really bad..''

i'm determined to know...they all thought i couldn't accept it if they did tell me. I thought i could. But, you know what? they were right, i couldn't. I tried, but i couldn't.

Curious? Still intrested to continue reading?

Well, these were the few reasons H told me which they agreed...

1) your looks... ( #$3*^&*!!!!!!! )

k, now i'm better, i'll explain,

they say- cause u looked really 'funny' when u were in form 2....

i replyed- what? wats wrong with my hair?

they said- well, u know.....but dont worry, u look a lot better after u braced ur teeth....blah, blah, blah ( dun really wan to care bout it anymore, so, next)

2)your behaviour.... (what? i'm a bit crazy at times, jumps around when i get excited, a bit innocent, and slow to catch sth at time.....so? it's not illegal. [really really hate to admit it])

3)n lastly, u dont really take any action when bullied.... ( what?? how am i supposed take any action if i dont know anything? and how am i suppose to know anything if nobody tells me????? [still, i dont think i'll do anything, i mean, wad do u suppose me to do? beat them? i haven't done tat since....cant remember when] )

i was in a extreamly bad mood after that, but i managed to control. My friends could tell i wasn't taking it so well though

well, after the like 2nd song, SHE's 'chu dian' there was this very normal word, in a very normal sentance, that made me broke down. ( i wont say which word =x ) well, guessed what happened next? i put the microphone down, and hid my head in H's back, n cried like a baby...embarassing huh?

my frens didn't know what to do, or react, so they juz asked me to stop because it was making them feel bad for telling me. i knew it wasn't thier fault, but it still took some time before i recovered. i requested to take a few more group pictures, and i left.

i guess i'm the kind of abnormal person who can suddenly cry, and pretended nothing ever happened in 10 minutes ( if i want to, if i dont, the things i say can really really hurt someone, even if i dont talk, the whole situation will turn very stiff, because people know immediately if i' in a bad mood, which is why, i usually stay in my room with my phone switched off when i'm in one) my mom had absoulutely no idea anything like this ever happened. My elder brother, he was the one who sensed i was in a bad mood, so we went to the playground and talked it over...

so..............i'm perfectly fine now, and recieved 2, 3 messages from my frens who saw my personal message in my msn, which i changed immediately..........................

i think, that would b all. so, end of the story.