i'm BORED

it's not boredom from nothing to do, it's more like boredom from being stuck at the same phase of my life for the past few months.

for knowing how much i could have done in the past but couldn't do anything about it any more.

for realising now that being cool, isn't really that cool.

for realising now how much i miss being able to chat without worries to people i care instead of having to comfort them about things like every-things-ok-with-your-relationship ( irony considering the fact i was NEVER in a relationship )

for suddenly realising people you dont use to care so much about might mean alot to you in the future.

for suddenly realising how much of myself i lost in the process of trying to be someone i wanted to be.

for having to be nice to people who hated me from the begining of the year because of a small minor error in what i said because i want to mend it

for feeling like i had left out on one of the most fun periods in my life which i could have enjoyed but was to lazy to enjoy it or was plain lazy.

for having to put up a i'm-fine-and-am-not-emoing when i am obviously emoing

for having to deal with other's love problems on almost every call i get

for having to deal with everything myself when i am emo because i cant bear to tell anyone else and ruin thier perfect image of the happy me because they depend on me for comfort

but mostly

for feeling like a total pathetic loser i am feeling now.

which is why,

if you guys at college ever reads this since none of you knows my blog

will understand the reason why i never told about my blog.

nice way of putting it, i care too much.

bad way of putting this, i love myself too much.

gosh, i cant tell all of you who were once my school mates how much i missed you guys.... even though i never been to any trips with you in the past or bothered to talk to you in the past. those feelings i longed for in the past was there because you guys were there. all of you. no matter how long was it since i last contacted you or how many topics we share.

love you guys. and will continue loving all of you in this dead blog not many people know about.

becca- u better call me SOON. or i swear i'll.....do something UNTHINKABLE :x

po chi - somebody promised to call me on 21st of july? o.O

sheou jun-

and loads of other people whom i wont bother to label here since they either

1) doesn't know i have a blog

2) dont bother to read

or

3)never bother about this small homosapien who owns this blog

anyhow, i'd really enjoy a nice notification on my fb that somebody misses me. ( instead of the usual 'somebody tagged you in a photo' )

dont mind the fact i sound pethatic in this post -.-