i'm BORED

it's not boredom from nothing to do, it's more like boredom from being stuck at the same phase of my life for the past few months.

for knowing how much i could have done in the past but couldn't do anything about it any more.

for realising now that being cool, isn't really that cool.

for realising now how much i miss being able to chat without worries to people i care instead of having to comfort them about things like every-things-ok-with-your-relationship ( irony considering the fact i was NEVER in a relationship )

for suddenly realising people you dont use to care so much about might mean alot to you in the future.

for suddenly realising how much of myself i lost in the process of trying to be someone i wanted to be.

for having to be nice to people who hated me from the begining of the year because of a small minor error in what i said because i want to mend it

for feeling like i had left out on one of the most fun periods in my life which i could have enjoyed but was to lazy to enjoy it or was plain lazy.

for having to put up a i'm-fine-and-am-not-emoing when i am obviously emoing

for having to deal with other's love problems on almost every call i get

for having to deal with everything myself when i am emo because i cant bear to tell anyone else and ruin thier perfect image of the happy me because they depend on me for comfort

but mostly

for feeling like a total pathetic loser i am feeling now.

which is why,

if you guys at college ever reads this since none of you knows my blog

will understand the reason why i never told about my blog.

nice way of putting it, i care too much.

bad way of putting this, i love myself too much.

gosh, i cant tell all of you who were once my school mates how much i missed you guys.... even though i never been to any trips with you in the past or bothered to talk to you in the past. those feelings i longed for in the past was there because you guys were there. all of you. no matter how long was it since i last contacted you or how many topics we share.

love you guys. and will continue loving all of you in this dead blog not many people know about.

becca- u better call me SOON. or i swear i'll.....do something UNTHINKABLE :x

po chi - somebody promised to call me on 21st of july? o.O

sheou jun-

and loads of other people whom i wont bother to label here since they either

1) doesn't know i have a blog

2) dont bother to read

or

3)never bother about this small homosapien who owns this blog

anyhow, i'd really enjoy a nice notification on my fb that somebody misses me. ( instead of the usual 'somebody tagged you in a photo' )

dont mind the fact i sound pethatic in this post -.-

wooohooooo~

sorry ppl ( if there r still any ppl out there who realise i own a blog and have NOT forgotten about it ), abandoned blog for more than 4 months already. time i dug it back up and start typing x)

4 months is a long period of time. the last time i blogged, i haven't even finished my first round of finals and was fretting over wether i will pass T1 and T2. ( stupid thought -.- i mean.... do smart ppl like me FAIL easy exams that only require u to click your chosen answer into the computer? DUH!!! of course they do. why else do you think i'll FRET??? )

now, lets see where in my many stages of life i am in now.



i passed my T1 and T2 *screams of joy in the back*

i sat for my T3, T4 and T5 (yes, i studied, cried, slept, fret, ignored exam, stressed for 3 months before the exam... [ not that THAT many ppl knew or BOTHERED to know if i did] )

i got a job, credits to ellie :) whom i bet doesn't know her name is appearing on a blog she doesn't even know exists. i earn 80 bucks a day selling 3 weeks of kiwi and 1 week of 'safeggs'. the eggs were a stupid thing -.- i mean, who would pay 1 BUCK to buy eggs ppl CLAIM to be PASTURISED and has ADDED DHA???!!! ( 'claimed' meaning they MIGHT have but i have no idea if they are telling the truth ) anyway, you don't want to see me on a court case for sabotaging other's business, do you? so i'll just drop it at that. but kiwi was SOOO fun! i get to meet 'safegg' promoters who all turn out to be pretty cool ppl cause we work same days ( meaing i won't be all lonely and start talking to the na bet supervisor who took a liking to me because i sold all his kiwi stock and broke their record ) and they are all newbies so i get to act like a total you-guys-have-no-idea-how-to-do-it-right-so-worship-me-and-i'll-teach-you sucker! Lol, it lasted only a few seconds for every promoter i meet, but i love to think of myself as a MEANIE x) guilty pleasure ;P nyway, i'll be glad to leave, ( after supposingly 8 days but worked another 2 extra days as a extra favour AFTER i supposingly resigned ) since the staffs are SO friendly to me now, they even tickle me! x.x

i meet a few interesting characters that i found joy in chatting with. these characters go by the name of alvin liu something and colin something. i actually felt closer to alvin, whom i've only knew a few hours, than my colledge mates whom i knew for MONTHs. ( but nothing beats chatting and spilling things and teasing and getting teased and gossiping and having fun with u guys whom my life used to spin around when i was in secondary school. cheers. ;'])

i read, harry potter series, pendragon, and some other books my mom randomly borrowed from PJ library.

i stayed at hospital KL for a night. ( to look after my grandma who went for a minor operation which did NOT take place in the end ) fantastic experience i tell you, but not necessarry in the good way.

i 'supposingly' switched my phone and 'supposingly' gave my brother my old phone. but i loved my old phone too much, there were too many sweet messages which i kept from ppl i cared there that could not be transfered. i hadn't the heart to give it away :'(

i am watching 'vampire diaries' and 'gossip girls' ( gaaahhhhh~ i asolutely LOVE Chuck. ignoring the fact that he's a totally spoilt rich bastered who is immensly annoying when he is emo, he a GREAT boyfriend...... i cant believe i'm saying this, he's not even cute! )

i gained x-kg. ( becca!!! u said you'll come here n we'd go jogging together x( come on! i need to get my butt off my comfy bed )

i went and came back from a family trip to cambodia :)

i went and came back from a class trip to genting.

i was officially hated by 2 girls in my class whom i used to look up to because of something i innocently joked about in the BEGINING of my first semester. ( 3 actually, but 1 of them is currently a friend )

i currently support SPAIN after argentina loss 4-0 to germany ==

my 2 girl friends whom was with me since beggining of sem is currently dating my 2 boy friends whom was in the gang since begining of sem leaving me, a loner, sitting between 2 couples in the cinema. ==


oh,


and of course, there's the part about my long-ago-crush-whom-used-to-set-my-heart-fluttering who finally realised that he likes me == took him quite a while :( but like i said, 'used to' i'm not sure i still like him as much anymore


i wont bother you with the mushy details i'm sure u're not interested in. furthur details? ask me out to yam cha! or call me out!


so long, cheers ppl :)