the past

every second u're using is going to be your history. time passses the same for all of us. it's just what happens around us that makes us feel as if time passes faster or slower.

for me, any time i'm NOT daydreaming, with people, listening to music i like or watching a show is time passing slowly.

then, there are times when, even though time passes slowly, a sudden change in events or a shock can make EVERYTHING suddenly feel so distant.

since the last time i blogged.quite alot happened actually. always wanted to blog it but hadn't the time or i had someone close by.

feels like another decade ago now...

last week, i lost my mechanicle pencil. quite upset about it. it was with me since secondary school. blue, smooth, withstand dropping, and just the right feel.

then, on tuesday, suzanne called me out for lunch. pleasent surprise. it was ages since i saw her. she's as pretty and easy to get along as ever.

after class, pig gave me a lesson. a driving lesson. in eva's SERENA. huh, figured i'de never be one of those who'll need lessons after getting my license. however, due to constant reminder from my mum that my license was 'bought', i kinda lost my guts to drive. but it's kind of cool to think that the first car i drive after getting my license, is a huge MPV. ha!!

on thursday. i got ffk'ed. i wont say i was happy about it because i wasn't. kinda left me in a emotional state. i sent a message to amy, askig if she wants to go to the night market. i dont know what was i expecting, a 'no'? it was like a desperate act to show that nothing was turnig out for me that day, i guess. what a sadist.

to my utter surprise, she said 'ok de'... she made my day. just like that. but we didn't go to the night market, she wasn't keen, went to her house for dinner instead. her family was, as usual, more friendly than any average families.

we talked.

actually, she talked. i listen.

i kind of forgot i used to talk alot. i used to be the one searching out others to listen to me. now, i serch out others to talk to me.

she said i have no standing of my own. cause i dont seem to have any opinion, whatsoever... maybe it's true... now?

on friday. went taylors. bought a cake for vivien in pyramid, her b'day being the next day. alot of great memories that day. memories that were so gret, they seem like they were plucked from a dream... and they might just as well stay that way...


woke up cring on saturday. high fever. went to lok yee's house later that day, and her mum tried to drunk me with cocktails one after another.

baking on sunday. a success. but, i'm not in the mood to celebrate. mainly cause....


monday. shock. denial. emo. internal struggle.

sorry peeps. i still cant get myself to type all this out. the shock, the struggle, isn't gonna leave as soon as i want it.
:(

oh, i failed f6

history :(

everything feels so familiar.

the lies. the gradual distance. the akwardness. the gossip. the hidden truth. the complicatedness.

when there are cracks in a relationship, there are signs.i just hope it recovers soon enough :(





yeah, i'm emo. failed my law progress test.Badly.
quarelled with my mum yesterday.
rejected an outing i would have loved to go, but got ffk'ed to another outing i was anticipating which was also the reason i rejected the first.

gosh, why am i complaining?
i'm such a whimp :(

uh huh~

i twisted my leg.

during the first half an hour of my free taekwondo trail class. apparently, i look so dead/lifeless, i was constantly approached by random people from the class to check whether i was alive >.< mostly the instructor though. guess he was worried to lose a student :x

it's all about me me me me me~

know the song 'it's all about him him him him him'? dont ask me who sang it. i have no idea :) but it's such a catchy song, i cant get it off my mind! x)

ok, well, sorry for the late updates :( i try to make it a point to blog once a week. but it's not an easy habit to grow ( since there's fb constantly distracting you there >_< )

picking up frm last week :)

thursday.
SNOWFLAKES!!!! again -.- i'm kinda getting bored og snowflakes. i used to love grassjelly series, but now, i prefer soya ice :) love soya! xD

anyway, i went snowflakes for a round of girly chat with 3 other classmates who used to be in the next class. so yeah, it's new friendship blooming in the right direction :)

so, as i was saying, i was full of anticipation to break the ice with them when i saw HILLARY WEE!! if i spelt correctly, the genius.

on usual circumstances, i would be more than glad to have him bring his bowl of best seller to sit on the next table and start a conversation. but it wasn't normal circumstances that day!! T-T i want to chat with the girls!!! :(


friday.
daddy's b'day :) dinner date!!! spend rm 80 ++ ><

oh, haha, sorry to wanqi xP i'll try not to be late again!! ><



sat and sun.
nadaaa~~ *it's all about him him him him him*
nervous ><
oh, amy's bbq party. the b'day girl turned up so late x.x but i'm glad to see her anyway :)

OH!!! i forgot! something DID happen on sunday. PM me for more details ;)IFyou want it



monday.
results day. freakin nervous i tell youuuu~~ >< x.x x(
i was sooo worried. i honestly wouldn't know what would i have done if i failed even 1 paper. commit suicide maybe? and i'm serious. i might. :x
i cant imagine having a whole 6 months just studying 1 or two papers... WITHOUT my friends. the thought of it, puts me in despair.
having so much free time.. not seeing my friends.. not attending class together.. my mum's grumbles...her disappointment...

but i didn't

cause i PASSED!!!!

i have NO IDEA how i passed. sheer luck, i still believe. i dont know what's wrong with me, i want to pass so badly, but i dont believe i can and even after i passed i still haven't accepted the fact that's i'm an ACCA student. even after so many days.




Tuesday.
damn embarrassing. i dont even wanna talk about it.



wed, thursday.
nadaaa~~~ day dreaming away *and we dont give a dang dang dang dang dang*


i have so much to tell. but my test is next week!!! >< ciaos~~

ps. :( so sad.. din get to go eat korean food with becca and po chi :X
*about nobody-e-e-e-e*

happy~

recently went out aloottt~
but the happiest had to be the dinner at padi with the girls <3
there was awkwardness,
i wont deny,
but,
it's a beginning :)

the other would be the gathering with my ex-classmates~!!!
5@11 born-for-this
haha,
haven't said that before...
always referred to them as 'my form 5 classmates'
it was a LITTLE too wild for my liking
but it was great :)
we rocked xD
went 100 degrees then to music zone where the REAL party started x)

FINALLY went bai nian ytd~~!!!
so sad :(
only 4 person
oh well, good enough.
gamble non-stop ==
lost 10 bucks leeeehhh~~ ><

valentine this year came and went quietly.
out of boredom,
i ran to the over-priced bookstore in college and bought CHOCOLATES~~!!! xD
free chocolates for single ladies!!! ;)
gave them all out :P
oh, a delivery guy came in to deliver a rose to another guy in our class!! ha!
so cute, the guy was soo shy, i bet he was blushing ;p

5 days to go....
i'm soo dead ><
please pray for me x(


that probably sums things up for now,
till the next week. ;)
CIAO~ xoxo



ps. these guys HAVE to work harder -.-