kerja amal

This was actually quite unexpected, during recess on Tuesday, C suddenly asked me, '' Want to do kerja amal together or not? we r all going'' i wasn't sure whether i should go, cause i was actually planing to do my moral's kerja amal ( a really stupid, useless project by the way, but i have to admit, if it wasn't because of this project, i probably would never have know what was happening outside my small tiny fantasy world) with interact or prs club, but, well, who know what might happen right? for all u know, the teacher will suddenly ask us to pass up our project the next day....well, then i'm done for. So....i agreed.


i told my mom about this, she agreed too, and so, i found myself at this..i dont know wat place, which was for children with mental problem....( i thought this was suppose to b a trip to an orphanage?)


i went there, and was shocked to find out that....the things i do, the things WE ALL do everyday, which we think is based on common sense is actually NOT based on common sense to a child with those kind of problems. Firstly, i was shocked to find a boy eating rice...rice that isn't boiled( which i managed to stop), then i saw another boy, who went around with a bottle n hitting people with the bottle after pouring the water on people....ect....( i dont really want to continue)


Back to the main purpose we came here...we asked the 'kakak' in charged if there was anything we could do, she told us another group of ppl came a week ago, so the house is still quite clean....WHAT TO DO???? wat's going to happen to our kerja amal??? there's about 30 ppl here, wat photo's r we going to put in? so, we took photo's of us fakingly sweep the floor, wipe the gates...i didn't realy like the idea, so i took only 1 photo, just for the project's sake. (probably will do another REAL one later)



Later, after the photo taking, we tried comunicating with the kids. i managed to understand what one of them were trying to tell me. ( he was 19, but i thought he was younger than me ><) i asked him a few questions n heard a heart-breaking story. the way he told it, was like it was the most normal thing in the world...yet, it's....



he spoke to me in cantonese, i was curious as to where did he learn how to speak that language as the rest of the kids( erm, actually most r older than me but... ) there only understands malay. after a few attempts, i finally understood what he said. he goes home once a week..........what? he has a family, so why is he here?? i mean, y isn't his family member looking after him? y is he left here?? though i was speechless, i continued my conversation with him. he then continued, most of the kids here have families, but r left here till no-idea-when. though i understand that it could b hard for the parents of these kids to accept the fact that thier child turned out like that, but, the child is still thiers, even if they do sent thier child to places like this, thinking it would b for the best, the least they could do is to visit thier child more often....



some time later, as i was wandering around, i saw another little girl sitting near a table. i talked to her, but she only smilled sweetly at me without a word. when some of the boys informed me that they brought some colour pencils n papers for them to draw, i tried to get the little girl to go out with me outside, where all the other kids gathered to do colouring. i managed to get her to stand up, but she couldn't move, i didn't understand. suddenly, i saw what was holding her back. she was tied to the table by a rope on her right leg.



the 'kakak' explained that she'de run away if her legs were not tied up. the girl continue smilling at me....she had a sweet smile. i was reluctant to leave her behind alone even when everyone was asked to gather outside. WELL...something embarassing happened n my first reaction was to turn my head n immediately ran out. my face was flushed, n i thought i even had fever, i was so shocked i was actually crying.[i've never been that shock or embarrased in my life before to make my face so red ] my frens were laughing away when they knew wat happened ( so bad == ). later, after everyone gathered outside, one of the girls explained that we weren't suppose to go into the other part of the house (where i went just now)

as there was actually a girl there with hits anybody who goes near.



i was shocked to hear that. but becaused of what happened earlier, i sweared i was not going in there again. then the smilling face of the little girl floated past my mind again. i was so tempted to bring the little girl a pencil n paper to draw on, but....i didn't want to go back there. in the end, i managed to pull a friend to come along with me(who later ran off). the 'kakak' told me more bout the little girl while i drew pictures with her. it seems that her other few siblings has the same problem. except for the eldest sister, all of them has problems. but they r sent to different centres in the country. her parents are divorced. the father looks after the eldest sister n come to visit his child every year.......the little girl smiles at me again....at least, she looks happy......



i heard some noise, picked up my courage n walked further into the house. i saw the room, where the sound came from. it was a terrible sight...a girl was chained in metal chains n locked to the wall at the corner of the empty room. she spotted me, n did somthing i never immagined. she sang to me...i was tongue-tied. so i sat at the other corner of the room and listened. when i came back to my senses, i tried talking to her in every language i knew. she continued singing. i was actually shocked at the poor room conditions, i mean, if i was tied here n was asked to live the life she lived, even i would have gone crazy....the kakak heard her singing.

she came into the room and talked to me. apparently, tis girl was here for quite some time, meaning few years. she'd break the windows with nothing but her bare hand when she's in a bad mood. sometimes, she even breaks the metal chains on her legs and attack people. then the girl stopped singing. i tried to go a little nearer. the kakak didn't stop me, she only ask me to be careful.

i moved slowly. Suddenly, without warning, she pounced at me. i had no idea what happened, but i somehow managed to dodged the 'attack'. i was kinda shock myself, before i knew it, the second round of pounding came. this time, i not only dodged the 'attack', i raced to the door. still stunned, about what happened. ( i was quite shocked that i dodged that instead of my usual got attack oso dunno what happened situation, so....round of applause please =D )

the kakak actually laughed. she told me that it's ok edi, she cant go that far with the chain on her legs. (are u kidding me? she jumped from one end of the room to another, thats like 2 meters, and she could have jumped another 2 meters if it wasn't because of the chain. ><) so how'd u bring food for her, or where does she sleep, she can't sleep on the floor her whole life? i asked, masa makan, saya letak pinggan tu kat sana, dia mau makan, dia makan lah, masa tidur pun sama, saya letak tilam kat sana, dia akan tidur lepas letih... she answered calmly.

......shock.......

after everything's over, there was a mix feeling. i felt lucky that i'm born fine n considered healthy? but, i did feel sad for the unfortunate ones. i'm sure they didn't want things the way it is too, but they had no choice. i pity thier parents too. i mean, who wont b upset if thier child turn out like that? but even if it's difficult, they still have to take up some kind of responsible right? if they think by sending thier child here, they are doing all they can, fine...but at least come visit them or bring them home once in a while...they really need it....even if it doesn't look like they even know what's happening............


P/S..this blog was in draft since 28th of feb. ><

a happy day, turned out to b nothing more than pure sadness...

this is actually really unexpected...i mean, my life had a lot more other really intresting things that happened these few days...but i never thought of posting it, u can say i forgot totally that i ever had a blog...maybe i'll post it all later...but something happened today, something that made posting it on blog came to me...unexpectedly, and immediately...looks like i didn't forget me having a blog totally...
well, today, is my friend's birthday, A. We all planed to go to ebox, in carefour to celebrate as midvalley was...(i cant remember the reason =p). So, C, H, and K were going, including me.( should i say that there were suppose to be more people going, but they didn't turn up) we wanted to surprise A , so we all pretended we forgot her birthday, and that H couldn't turn up. A was really upset, she was so dissapointed that we forgot her birthday and H wasn't coming... when i saw her upset look, i really really wanted tell her the whole truth, i couldn't bear to see her like that, but then, i cant spoil our perfect plan either, so when the time came, i did as planed n ask A to accompany me to the toilet. When we came back, H was there with the cake, we sang 'happy birthday' to the birthday girl. She was laughing and close to tears and i dont know what other emotions were there...well, THAT was the time the gang started to heat up.
we played till around 3pm, then we decided to play true or dare.
C got the first round of true, we asked tons of questions, then A got the second, also true. H got the third, also true. And then...what do u know, the stupid thing pointed at me.
They shoot me with questions like ' do u like J? ' 'was there anyone you ever hated?' ' were u always pretending?'
As for the first question, i was like...i thought i said that before? i do like J, as in admire, nothing more, why cant they understand the difference between love and like?
The third question came first, well, NO!!!!!! i mean, i was always like the way i am, (i might be noob or maybe...MAYBE a bit slow, but is there anything wrong with that?) just because not everyone is like that doesn't mean i MUST be pretending. The only time i DO pretend, is when i dont know how else to react, or that i'm in shock. I mean, why else would i do that?
Then came the second question. Well, yes...but hate is a strong word, i wouldn't say i hate, i'de probably say i dislike. Two years ago, there was this gang of people at the back who hated me, for no reason, which i now, just few hours ago, found out...was not hate, they were litterary toying me. So...guess how i felt?

That, wasn't what made me feel bad...that was the minor....

They later start whispering here n there about the reason, y i was choose to b toyed out of all the ppl in my class, i mean, why me? H knew the reasons perfectly well, she whispered to the others, and they all agreen, C even added, '' if i was said something like that by someone, i'll feel really bad..''

i'm determined to know...they all thought i couldn't accept it if they did tell me. I thought i could. But, you know what? they were right, i couldn't. I tried, but i couldn't.

Curious? Still intrested to continue reading?

Well, these were the few reasons H told me which they agreed...

1) your looks... ( #$3*^&*!!!!!!! )

k, now i'm better, i'll explain,

they say- cause u looked really 'funny' when u were in form 2....

i replyed- what? wats wrong with my hair?

they said- well, u know.....but dont worry, u look a lot better after u braced ur teeth....blah, blah, blah ( dun really wan to care bout it anymore, so, next)

2)your behaviour.... (what? i'm a bit crazy at times, jumps around when i get excited, a bit innocent, and slow to catch sth at time.....so? it's not illegal. [really really hate to admit it])

3)n lastly, u dont really take any action when bullied.... ( what?? how am i supposed take any action if i dont know anything? and how am i suppose to know anything if nobody tells me????? [still, i dont think i'll do anything, i mean, wad do u suppose me to do? beat them? i haven't done tat since....cant remember when] )

i was in a extreamly bad mood after that, but i managed to control. My friends could tell i wasn't taking it so well though

well, after the like 2nd song, SHE's 'chu dian' there was this very normal word, in a very normal sentance, that made me broke down. ( i wont say which word =x ) well, guessed what happened next? i put the microphone down, and hid my head in H's back, n cried like a baby...embarassing huh?

my frens didn't know what to do, or react, so they juz asked me to stop because it was making them feel bad for telling me. i knew it wasn't thier fault, but it still took some time before i recovered. i requested to take a few more group pictures, and i left.

i guess i'm the kind of abnormal person who can suddenly cry, and pretended nothing ever happened in 10 minutes ( if i want to, if i dont, the things i say can really really hurt someone, even if i dont talk, the whole situation will turn very stiff, because people know immediately if i' in a bad mood, which is why, i usually stay in my room with my phone switched off when i'm in one) my mom had absoulutely no idea anything like this ever happened. My elder brother, he was the one who sensed i was in a bad mood, so we went to the playground and talked it over...

so..............i'm perfectly fine now, and recieved 2, 3 messages from my frens who saw my personal message in my msn, which i changed immediately..........................

i think, that would b all. so, end of the story.